My Next Chapter: A Retirement Journey - My new question: ‘What interesting things have you been up to?’

I’ve recently been steeped in trying to separate myself from my work identity now that retirement is imminent. I’ve realized for some time that the American habit of asking “what’s your job?” in order to discover “who are you?” is not only superficial, but mentally unhealthy. But I’ve gotten more serious about trying not to focus so much on other people’s work lives as I’m about to leave my own full-time paid career.

And yet . . . .

When I talk with new college graduates, my first inclination is to ask them about their career path. What do you plan on doing with your degree? Do you have a job? Are you looking? And when I chat with people early in their careers, I reflexively want to know how their jobs are going.

Old habits die very, very hard.

I need to update that instinct. The new question I’m trying out: “What interesting things have you been up to?” I want to make clear that I’m not subtly fishing around for occupation info, as American adults often do.

I want to have conversations about cool interesting things people are doing. Traveling? Reading anything compelling? Learning something? Having fun get-togethers with family and friends?

If they want to talk about their jobs and careers, that still leaves the opening. But they don’t have to.

I also want to ask myself that question each week. Not to put pressure on myself to pack my days with accomplishments, but to check if I’m doing things that interest me. Taking a walk at a local garden or trail is a fine answer. So is reading a good book, coding a hobby project, trying a new exercise class, or writing a blog post. Yes, I’d also like to travel and learn new skills, but I’m not looking exhaust myself in retirement. Or become what Ashton Appplewhite calls a ‘supergeezer’ – skydiving or mountain climbing into my 80s to try to prove that I’m still young.

I just don’t want to waste the precious freedom that comes with retirement. If I don’t have a good answer to what interesting things I’ve been up to, I’ll need to focus on finding one.