After a crushingly busy Monday and Tuesday at work, my last day arrived on Wednesday.
I went into the office one final time, partly to return my laptop and office fob, and partly because people were nice enough to arrange a little farewell gathering.
A lot of people couldn’t make it, between summer vacation time, people working remotely, and some scheduling conflicts. But that turned out OK, because I felt like I really got to talk with people who were there. We shared memories – some from earlier years and others more recent – and talked about future plans. I gave my work computer back to IT, a colleague packed me up some cake and goodies, and off I went.
Just like that, my paid, full-time professional career of nearly 45 years was over.
Some of my already-retired friends warned me that no matter how ready I feel to stop working, I’ll likely have strong emotions and thoughts during this transition. And indeed that’s true. Even though I believe very strongly that it’s time for my next chapter . . . as I was driving home, a question popped into my mind: “Who am I?”
That was unexpected! Interestingly, the question felt urgent but not panicky. It didn’t come from “OMG I have no identity anymore!” It was more like “What should start filling the enormous space that my job, career, and professional identity have taken up for so long?”
To be determined!
Meanwhile, here I am at Retirement, Day One. My Thursday plans? Go to an outdoor water exercise class at the gym, head to a local Farmers Market, run an errand or two, and meet friends for dinner. That may not sound too exciting, but it’s thrilling to me that I can decide to do things like that on a weekday, without pre-scheduling vacation time.
I suppose it might have been nice to start off by going on a super awesome trip to begin my next chapter. In fact, a Retirement Rookies Wall Street Journal column I read recently talked about the wisdom of taking a trip immediately upon leaving work. While that sounded fun, it also seemed a bit too frenetic on top of everything I had going on this month. For me, it also felt a bit like trying to postpone what’s to come. I don’t want to start off by running away from my new life at home.
I do love travel! I feel fortunate that I was able to go to many places in Europe that I dreamed of visiting while I was still working, even if only two weeks at a time. There are still places I want to see for the first time, and places I want to visit again. But while I may have more time to travel (nothing is guaranteed), I don’t expect travel to be my entire new life, even if health and finances permit.
Most of all, I don’t want to feel pressure to prove that I’m having a cool retirement. Or that I can still be a young and adverturous traveler. I want to make sure that I’m doing what I want, not what I think I should want. Or what I think will impress other people.
I do hope to enjoy a few dream trips, yes! But I also want to savor more basic pleasures. A summer evening with friends or family. A good meal. Taking a walk. Spending some time reading, or writing, or both. Visiting fun places near home. Being in complete control of my own time.
Learning again how to just be.
You can follow My Next Chapter by email newsletter or RSS feed. Blog content © Sharon Machlis.