There are four phases of retirement that “most” people move through in retirement, Dr. Riley Moynes argues in a TEDx talk viewed more than 3 million times. I’ve been retired for less than six months – not long enough to have personally experienced what he outlines. But based on what I’ve seen and read so far, I think his framework can be true for many people but not for a lot of others.
The (alleged) 4 phases
Moynes calls retirement’s first phase “the vacation phase”: relaxing, having fun, no routine. This is mostly how I’m experiencing retirement so far, and it’s pretty great.
I’ve done some non-vacation-like things, too, such as teaching a workshop and freelance writing for pay. But I also currently have what I think of as a “fear of commitment”: Whenever I mull projects or volunteer options that involve committing to a regular schedule beyond a month or so, I recoil.
There’s little I’m relishing more in retirement right now than the vastly greater control I have over my own schedule. One of the things I disliked most about working wasn’t the actual work, but the fact that I had so little say over how I spent my time.
My boss was great about trying to give me schedule flexibility whenever possible. But if you’ve got back-to-back-to-back meetings and emails with “urgent” requests, there isn’t always room for flexibility. I’m clearly overcompensating in response to that. Whether and when I might be more willing to consider longer range activities and more schedule structure remains to be seen.
Moynes claims that “for most folks, phase one lasts for a year or so. And then, strangely, it begins to lose its luster. We begin to feel a bit bored. We actually miss our routine.”
He says “Phase 2 is when we feel loss and we feel lost,” missing things like routine, a sense of identity, work relationships, “sense of purpose”, and for some people, power and authority. “We don’t see these things coming,” he says.
We don’t? For a lot of people, especially Americans, fear of losing things like professional identity, sense of purpose, routines, and work friends are often key reasons we hesitate to retire. We may not fully grasp how that will play out, but we certainly expect to see it coming! In addition, not everyone had or liked their work identity and colleagues. And even in America’s work-obsessed culture, some people still manage to see work as a means to enjoy other aspects of their lives – even if they like their profession.
He says the third phase is “trial and error”, when people experiment on how to make their lives “meaningful again”, trying out “different activities that make you want to get up in the morning.” I know a lot of people who have experienced that, but some launch into it very soon after retiring. Others are happy from the start to spend time with family and friends, travel, and work on maintaining or improving their physical and mental health and don’t see the need to add more. (One thing about getting older: Keeping what health and fitness you still have takes more time and effort!) Some people include structured volunteer or part-time work, but not always because they’ve been miserable or lost.
And then there’s Moynes’s fourth phase, which he says not all retirees achieve but those who do tend to be very happy: “a time to reinvent and rewire.” In this phase, people answer questions like “What’s my purpose here? What’s my mission? How can I squeeze all the juice out of retirement?” The answer is typically “service to others,” he concludes.
I imagine this is a linear path that a lot people follow in figuring out their retirement – especially those who got a lot of personal satisfaction from their work and didn’t have much time and energy for fulfilling activities off the job.
However, my guess is that others experience these “phases” in a non-linear way, moving back and forth between them in different orders – or even at the same time – more than once.
This reminds me a bit of the well-known “5 stages of grief” framework, which some believe meant those who are grieving typically experience those stages in order, one after the other, once each time. In fact, the author of that framework, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, said that many people experience more than one stage at a time and will move back and forth among them.
Moynes, however, is stating that most people move through these retirement phases in order. It’ll be awhile before I see if these apply to me. I suspect they will – but not in 1-2-3-4 order or one and done.
Reactions
Comments on the YouTube version of that Ted Talk expressed a range of opinions. Many said the framework was extremely helpful. And it might be for you! It might be for me as well if I’m lucky enough to have a lengthy retirement and find myself getting restless.
But plenty of others disagreed. A sampling:
“Baloney. I’m 74 years-old and retired 16 years ago. I’m still in phase 1 and couldn’t be happier.”
“I’ve been retired 14 years now and am still enjoying phase one of complete freedom.”
“This talk is for people who did not develop and nourish a life outside of work.”
“I’ve been retired for twenty years. I’m now 76 and still in phase one. This is where I intend to stay. I’ve paid my debt to society, thank you”
“I enjoy eating fruits, I’ve never felt a need to ‘squeeze the last drop of juice’ out of them.”
“The key to contentment in retirement is knowing you gave it your all in your younger days. Let someone else carry the load. I did my part.” (Being honest here: I tell myself a version of this occasionally if I start feeling guilty about no longer being “fully productive.”)
“It’s important to note that what you say may be true for many, but not for all. In other words, your experience is not universal. Retirement can be the opportunity to live genuinely; to find out who you really are and start being that. I found my peace through meditation, letting go of ego, and focusing on gratitude.”
“I retired 5 years ago. And my first phase was disbelief - I actually made it to retirement, and it was like a vacation! And with my hobbies, physical fitness programs and travel (limited, sadly by the pandemic) It continues to be an enjoyable vacation for me and for my wife of 50 years, as well.”
“I retired at age 52 and at 74 I’m still in phase 1, having a thoroughly good retirement. I do recognise what Dr Moynes is saying and I do know people who have struggled with retirement but the issues outlined are not inevitable. The problem is not really retirement, rather it’s life prior to retirement. If work is what you are not what you do you will lose your identity when you retire. If it is the extent of your social life, you will feel lonely.”
If you want to see the original 13-minute talk:
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